A few days ago, we were trying to explain to a MS-DOS user how the VI
editor works.  Here's what we come up with:

Vi is an editor with two distinguished modes:

In Edit mode you have all the capabilities of grandma's typewriter
right under your finger tips!  You can make the very same mistakes as
you did with granny's typewriter (and your possibilities to correct
them are about the same).

That's why Vi was provided with a second mode, namely the Beep mode.
On a vt100 terminal or compatible you can get into Beep mode by
pressing an arrow or escape function key.  In this powerful Beep mode
even the more innocuous keystroke will promptly produce a Beep sound.
As an example, arrows, return, blank spaces and most capital letters
will produce beeps in the most arbitrary places of the screen.  Just
think about the whole world of possibilities that this mode gives to

--Compose a monotonic symphony or rap while editing your thesis!

--Send messages in Morse code to the secretary next door!

--Keep yourself awake with the clear sound of the Beep tone!

The variations are endless.

From newsgroup: rec.humor.funny.reruns, Thu Oct 29 1998 (alopeziz@maytag.waterloo.edu (Alex Lopez-Ortiz))